Not The 'Triple-D' You Think Of... Disney, Disease, and Dystopian Headsets
Friday, March 31st, 2023
Harvard Researchers Play God, Create Indestructible E. Coli That Will Outlive Us All
Germaphobes everywhere are quaking due to Harvard researchers’ groundbreaking creation of a new strain of E. coli bacteria that's completely invincible against any and all viruses. The breakthrough could change how we produce medicine and biofuels using E. coli. E. coli is already used for almost two dozen pharmaceuticals; however, viruses often contaminate the process and thus, ruin the medicine. The researchers added “trickster tRNAs” to stop the viruses from replicating in the bacteria. Quick sidenote: who chose the name "trickster tRNA" and are they 7 years old? The researchers also implemented two safety mechanisms to prevent the bacteria from escaping into the wild, so we can all enjoy our burrito bowls without fear of a surprise E. coli topping, like the one Chipotle gave us a few years ago.
Apple’s New $3000 Headset For Those Who Don’t Need To Check Their Bank Accounts
Apple is planning to unveil its mixed-reality headset, which is rumored to be called the Reality One or Reality Pro, at its scheduled Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) held at its headquarters in Cupertino, California from 5 June to 9 June 2023. This will be Apple's first major new product since the release of the Apple Watch in 2015. Whether you're a fan of virtual reality or not, at least we can be thankful that it's not just another overpriced iPhone model with minor upgrades that somehow manages to have an even more fragile screen. Along with the headset, Apple may also lay the groundwork for upcoming changes across its operating systems to comply with various laws. Truly, nothing gets a party started quite like legal compliance and operating system changes.
Lockheed Martin To Help Astronauts Who Can't Hear You Now
Lockheed Martin, an aerospace company that knows how to make things fly and explode, has created a new subsidiary called Crescent Space Services, which plans to provide communication and navigation services for space missions headed to the moon. These services would be essential for missions headed to the south pole and the far side of the moon where there can be problems with visibility and direct communication with Earth. Who knew the moon could be so shady? Womp womp, buh-duh-chh. Their platform helps transmit data and images back to Earth and helps spacecraft move around the moon's surface and locate specific landing sites. Finally, we can put an end to the moon landing conspiracy and prove that it's totally possible to park a spacecraft on the moon without any help from Hollywood special effects.
Bipartisan Senators Take Break From Accomplishing Nothing To Address Big Tech
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...politicians agreeing? A bipartisan group of US Senators have joined forces to propose legislation targeting digital behemoths: Google, Facebook, Amazon, and Apple. The bill would prevent these tech giants from owning multiple services that connect advertisers with ad space providers. By restricting their ownership of multiple services, the bill aims to weaken their monopolistic supply-chains and create a more level playing field for others in the digital advertising industry. The idea is that this would increase competition and result in better prices and options for advertisers and publishers alike, or in this case, maybe even senators running targeted ads during their next election campaigns!
Walt Disney Company’s ABC News Announces Job Cuts, But Is Mickey Mouse Still On Payroll?!
The Happiest Place on Earth is feeling the pinch as the Walt Disney Company has announced plans to cut 7,000 jobs across the board, and ABC News is the latest victim. As part of a restructuring effort, a number of senior executives have been given the boot, including those at Marvel Entertainment and television production. Looks like the Avengers might have to dust off their resumes and start practicing their latte art skills for some extra cash. ABC News President Kim Godwin didn't mince words in her memo to staff, admitting that it's a tough pill to swallow but necessary for long-term survival. The restructuring will also include an expansion of the business and operations team, because let's face it, who needs senior leadership when you can have more junior business analysts?